Hello my friends, and welcome back to not another Mindset show. I’m your host, Dr. Kasey Jo. My goal with this podcast is to take the science of mindset and behavior change and distill it down into actionable takeaways for you. Together we’re gonna unpack research around motivations, self-sabotage, willpower, and so much more, and we’re going to take all of that and translate it into strategies you can immediately apply to your health fitness.

Relationships, business, marketing clients, all of the things. But just to be clear, it’s not all serious and Sy around here. We’re gonna have a ton of fun too, and I’m so excited to share all of this with you. All right, let’s go ahead and get into the episode. Welcome back. Today we have an Ask Me Anything episode.

You guys have given me so much good feedback on these q and a episodes, and they’re really all over the place because I’m quite literally taking the questions that you asked, whether it’s about me, whether about it’s about my hair, which we’re talking about today, or it’s a client concern that you have, or you’re interested to hear more about my business.

We’re talking about all of those things today. If you have a question for me. That you would like me to answer on the podcast? There is a link in the show notes of every single episode where you could submit your questions into a form. It can remain anonymous, it could be not anonymous. It’s, what was that word?

Not anonymous. I also, every once in a while in my Instagram stories will throw up a question box or an anonymous question box for you to ask, and that’s where the majority of these are actually from today. So if you’re not following me on Instagram. Should do that. That link is also in the show notes, and if you’re enjoying the podcast, I have so much more content on Instagram that is related to the exact things we talk about here.

So let’s get into it with question number one. What is the best way to handle someone who’s perceived effort is very mismatched to their behaviors? So. The person who asked this, she is a student inside HMCC, so I know that she’s talking about clients in this case, and she’s actually a sleep coach. Shout out to Irina if you’re listening to this.

I’m sure you are if you ask this question. So. This is an interesting question and she asks such a great question, so I’m not surprised. But essentially what we’re looking at here is what happens when a client is telling you and perceives and believes themselves to be putting in a lot of effort, but the actual behaviors that you’re seeing don’t seem to align with what they’re saying and how much effort that they’re putting in.

So first thing I will say. Is that if your clients are perceiving and telling you that they’re putting all this effort in and then they’re like, wow, I’m so excited. And I’m not necessarily sure if that’s the case for this client that from the coach who asked this question, but I’m so excited that I’ve been putting in all this effort and I’m trying so hard and oh my gosh.

And then you’re looking at what they’ve done and maybe it’s like 50% of what. They were supposed to do, quote unquote, we don’t want to downplay it if the perceived effort is there, if they’re excited about how much effort they’re putting in, how much that they’re doing, I. If they’re saying, I’ve put in so much effort this week, even though I didn’t quite hit everything, like I really tried so hard, and you’re like, wait, how is that possible?

If you only did like one of 10 things that you were meant to do? We don’t wanna go and tell them that. We wanna say, go to them and say, Hey, sorry to like reign on your parade here, but. You’re telling me that you tried really hard, but clearly you didn’t based on what you ended up doing. That is obviously, I hope, obviously the last thing that we want to be doing with our clients, so we don’t want to downplay that because you have to keep in mind too that as a coach, your belief of how much effort is good.

Is very biased because you’ve also seen a lot of really successful clients. You’re also probably doing a lot of these things yourself with little to no effort at this point because you’ve been doing it for so long, so long that you could be coaching other people on it now. So keeping that in mind, sort of your own mindset as a coach, that what your clients perceive as a lot of effort may not seem the same as how you would perceive a lot of effort.

So again, we don’t wanna downplay it, especially if they’re excited about it, especially if they feel like the amount of effort that I’m doing is awesome, right? So I would go to this client and. Number one, validate them. If they’re saying they’re excited or if they’re saying they put a lot of effort in, say, I’m hearing you say that you put in so much effort this week and I love to hear that you’re showing up for yourself.

I do have some more questions about this, and what I would do here is probably a scaling question. You guys have heard me talk about scaling questions before. I love them. It requires people to put a number to how they’re feeling, and then you can ask follow up questions from there. So how this could look is, on a scale of one to 10, how much effort do you feel like you’re putting in to achieve your goals, to complete these health behaviors that you’re planning to do every single week?

Whatever that looks like, I would choose one, right? Don’t ask more than one question. For one scale, how much effort do you, would you put that on a scale of one to 10? And so this person may come back and be like, oh, it was easily like an eight or a nine. Okay, great. Tell me what would be required and what it would look like, how things would look different if you were truly a nine or a 10 out of 10 on the effort scale.

What do you think we would see differently? How would your behaviors change? What would that mean for your progress and. Once they answer that, or within the same question, you could also say, however, at the same time, I would love to hear a little bit more about why you’re not like a six or a seven, and then they can come back to you after reflecting on, here’s all the other stuff I could do.

And if I did that, that’s what it would mean for me. And wow, that would be crazy if I could do that. But I’m not a six or a seven either because I’m putting so much effort in and I’m doing more than I’ve ever done before. Like that’s a really great way to sort of. End that conversation on them, feeling proud and motivated for how far they’ve come.

’cause we don’t wanna just play so much focus on what more they could be doing, but also make sure we’re highlighting what they’ve done so far. So that’s kind of my thought process. Obviously, without having more details about exactly what this client is saying, that’s probably the best that I can do.

Okay. Switching gears entirely to my hair. One of you asked about my curly hair routine. Thank you. I, I’m glad my hair is actually curly for this episode. For those of you that are watching on YouTube, um, my curly hair routine, for the most part, I wash my hair once a week. If it’s straight, sometimes I may go two weeks.

I sometimes go longer, but my hair is curly. Naturally, naturally curly hair is typically quite coarse and dry, so I don’t really get greasy hair. Like I, that is not a thing that I experience, which I’m grateful for. Um, the reason I have to wash it more than anything, number one, it’s dirty, obviously. Number two, my curls start to come apart when.

I don’t wash it because I’m putting it up in a bun, I’m taking it down, I’m sleeping, I’m going about my day, I am in the wind, whatever. So I really, the reason I have to wash my hair once a week when it’s curly is because I need to like revive and fully refresh the curls. So that process, I use mostly products from, at this point, inner sense.

It’s an organic brand. Um. Inner sense shampoo, conditioner. The conditioner I use is actually like a hydration mask, so I don’t use even just like regular conditioner. I use the moist, most moisturizing option possible. Um, and then I have a. Curly hair gel. Well, I use a, a curly hair cream first and then a gel, and those are both from, oh my gosh, what’s the name?

I actually learned about this, aunt Jackie’s, that’s what it is. I learned about these products in a cab from my cab driver in Bermuda. So, and um, she was right and also those products are so stinking cheap. Like when I tell you under $6 for a massive vat of gel and curly hair cream, I will link. The products in the show notes for you guys so you can go check it out.

But love that. And then I diffuse my hair. So I use a diffuser attachment to a blow dryer. It’s a process all said and done to like, what takes the longest is even just like getting through my hair in the shower. ’cause I don’t brush it, actually don’t own a hairbrush. Fun fact. But just, you guys are getting all of my like gross details.

She washes her hair like once a month and doesn’t own a hairbrush. Um. So, because I, if I brush it out right now, it would be, I would look like a, a lion, truly. Um, so I comb like finger comb my hair in the shower and then I do everything else. All said and done though, like between washing it and then blow drying, it probably takes me 30 to 45 minutes.

So another reason why I don’t wanna wash it all the time. Um, okay, there’s the answer to that question. Next question. What’s the difference between excuses and explanations with coaching clients and how to use that in coaching? Interesting question. So the idea here is that there is a difference between someone who’s just making excuses and someone who actually has a real explanation for why they didn’t get something done.

So the idea is that excuses aren’t real. Explanations are, I would argue that. Excuses still explain a lot, and y’all as coaches are missing out on so much. If you are just reading through a client check-in and thinking like, this girl just keeps making excuses and ignoring that and moving on. Or even just saying, trying to give them solutions to their excuses, that is just as bad.

Instead, I want you to think about where that excuse is coming from. Is there some sort of limiting belief? Is it a, is it fixed mindset drama? Do they not believe in their abilities to do this? And that’s why they feel like they have to make an excuse, because if it’s not. Real then why is then they, but they still didn’t do it.

They still didn’t do the thing that they were meant to do. So why? Why is that? That’s what you should be thinking when there’s an excuse. Okay, well then what’s the real reason why you didn’t do it? And it’s likely something more psychological, something internal. Whereas with. Explanations. I mean, we should still be asking questions around that.

Like tell me a little bit more about why this held you back from being successful this week. Like I want to better understand and Yeah, either way, whether it’s an excuse or an explanation, I think the goal should be seek to understand as the coach, ask them to tell you more about what came up for you and why that happened, just so you can better understand the situation and see how you can help them.

And the goal would be that they actually end up helping themselves because the people with excuses may come back and be like, listen, it was just an excuse and I actually am, am battling with this thing, or I’m feeling some sort of way, and now you’ve got some real stuff to work with. Or if it’s an explanation, that person will come back and be like, yeah, my schedule was just tougher than it’s ever been before this past week.

And that’s why I don’t foresee that happening again in the future. If it does, it’s very few and far between also. Great. And now you have that information. So if it does happen again, you can come back to it and be like, Hey, this is what you said to me before. Has that changed? Like, what’s going on? Fill me in.

That’s how I would handle that. Next question is, help me work out at 5:30 AM I have to hire a PT to meet me. Otherwise I will skip it and regret it later. Dude, I mean, I’m not working out at five, 5:30 AM like screw that. So I get it, but I also understand how many of us have to, I have the luxury of not having to work out at 5:30 AM am so.

If this is something that’s important to you and it seems like it is, and this is the best time of day for you to go, and you feel good when you do it and you feel badly when you don’t. Here’s what I have for you. First go to bed earlier, I. Please. I’m going to bed earlier and you may already be doing this, so I don’t wanna make assumptions, but that so often just helped so much.

It’s such a simple answer, but a complex situation often in the evenings for why you’re not getting to bed early enough. I mean, I naturally wake up. Between five 30 and 6:00 AM most mornings, but I am asleep by 9:00 PM Like I’m sometimes getting into bed at like eight 15, reading my book for a little bit.

Again, luxury. I’m aware of that. Um, but then I’m naturally waking up at that time. Or if I have to wake up at that time, it’s really, doesn’t feel as awful when I’m waking up because I’m relatively refreshed, like I got my eight hours type of thing. So that, that was truly the first thing that came to mind.

Um. From more of like mindset, behavior, change perspective. I would encourage you to, before bed, spend some time visualizing and playing out the script of what your mornings look like. So play it as you’re going to bed, as you’re getting ready for bed and you’re thinking about getting up in the morning.

Think about, okay, my alarm’s gonna go off and this is how I’m going to feel. Ugh, I don’t wanna go. I don’t wanna do it. But then I know if I press snooze and I go back to sleep, it will feel good temporarily, but then I’ll wake up and go about my day and then feel frustrated with myself for not. Getting out of bed and going to the gym.

If I do get out, get out of bed, go to the gym, I’m gonna be dragging. It’s not gonna feel good on the way there. Once I’m there, I’ll start to feel better. By the end of it, I’m gonna feel fantastic and prove to myself that I’m capable of doing this, and then I’m gonna go about my day and feel great. More energized.

All of the things like really sit with the feelings that come with either of the decisions. Just do that. I would say there’s more I could say, but I would say start there. Like that’s step number one is to do that and just see if that alone makes a difference, because on top of that, I mean you could even leave a note for yourself, maybe like on your bedside table that is related to that.

Like if there’s a specific feeling that you really love to have, put that on a sticky note on your bedside table. So when you’re turning off your alarm, you’re looking at that and you’re reading, and so you’re remembering, it’s sort of like a cue for you to remember that visualization that you had the night before.

Another thought that I had too is like thinking about if then planning, which actually in the previous episode about it was a, a stress eating support, like stress induced snacking tool. And it’s based on implementation intentions or if then planning. So if then planning is the idea where you’re thinking about a specific situation, that’s the if and then an action that’s going to be tied to that situation, which is the then and I would.

Like you to get more specific than if my alarm goes off, then I’m going to get out of bed and instead attach it more to feeling. So if I wake up and I so badly wanna press the snooze button, like nothing sounds better in the world, then I’m going to at the very least, get out of bed, go use the bathroom, and then if at that point I decide, Nope, I wanna get back in bed, then I can.

But if at that point, now that I’m out of bed, I. I’m just gonna say, fuck it. I might as well go to the, go to the gym ’cause I’m already out of bed. Then I’m gonna go to the gym. Like, you can have those, those pathways and think of it that way. And I would, I would try that between the visualization and that part.

Like just get yourself out of bed, use the bathroom, and then make a decision. That honestly could be everything. And in general too, the best thing we wanna do when it comes to. Building a new habit is reduce the friction and then increase the friction to doing anything else. So reduce the friction. Sleep in your gym clothes if you have to.

I actually used to do that in college. Absolutely did that. So it’s like, well, the gym clothes are already on, and then you know how crappy it feels when you. Skip the gym and then you wake up and you have your gym clothes on and it’s just a reminder that you didn’t go. And I’m not saying I want you guys to feel crappy in order to do something like that’s not gonna be helpful long term, but it just makes it easier on you.

Like, okay, I am already halfway there, already have my clothes on. Um, but think about other ways you can make it easier for yourself and also make it more difficult to stay in bed, like what would be required of you for that. Um, okay. I think that’s all I have for that one. Next question. How has your business growth looked over the years?

Did you ever think of quitting or pivoting to something different? Okay. Growth over the years. Obviously growth can be considered in a lot of different ways. Like are we talking revenue, are we talking The personal growth I’ve had to go through, um, in the, in an episode that I recorded previously. I talked about things that were personally challenging for me, and I talked a lot about business in there.

So if you have more interest to hear about, like my business journey and the things that I’ve gone through, definitely listen to that episode. But I’m not gonna sidestep this question, I promise. Um, growth over the years. So I, my business grew relatively quickly and I think most people would agree. I mean, I didn’t go from like zero to a million overnight.

I. But I did go from zero to a million in 15 months, so a little over a year. Um, and I have that stat in my head ’cause I made an Instagram post recently about that. Um, and then from there though, what’s really interesting, so my first year it was, I think we did a little over $400,000. And then a few months later, I, I crossed the million dollar mark in revenue.

And from there. I have been a seven figure business owner going on. Oh my goodness. How long? Four years now. Um, seven figures and some change. And the goal is to continue to grow that. And it’s felt, it’s felt difficult. It’s felt difficult to, I’m like, ready for that next quantum leap, you know, like, come on, what else we gotta do here?

I feel like I’m doing all the right things. Um. So the goal is to keep growing and we’ve kind of, I do not wanna use any negative words here, like I’m feeling stagnant or stuck because I don’t feel that way. And I am so determined to continue growing things because I also am aware, and I think this is so important.

I’m I so fully and a hundred percent attach. The dollar signs to the impact that I’m making. So I know if the dollar signs are growing, then the impact I’m making is growing, that I’m helping more coaches, that more people are getting through limiting beliefs and mindset barriers because of the coaches that are helping them who have learned from me, and that’s what’s really most important to me.

And. If you don’t have that snuff top of mind in your business, like you’re, you’re gonna struggle for sure. Um, so yeah, I’m just like working on what it means for me to get to that next level, what it means for my team to get to that next level. What still needs to be put in place. Um. What universal laws are keeping me from getting there and who I need to talk to about that, the moons and the stars.

Um, but no, it’s all, it’s all so fun. I love the game of business. I love it so much. Um, which is why I also mentor others in their businesses through the Growth Collective, which is my one-on-one mentorship program. I know I’ve mentioned that on the podcast before, at least I think I have. Um, but we open up a few spots.

Twice per year. It’s a very small group, like five to eight that I work with, one-on-one for business type of stuff. Um, I’ll make sure that that link is in the show notes for the interest list if you have any interest in working with me in the Growth Collective, but, okay. Other question was, did you ever think of quitting or pivoting to do something different?

Um. I really have pivoted in some ways. I started with a one-on-one health and fitness coaching company, and then I created the Health Mindset coaching certification, and then now today, I don’t have a one-on-one health and fitness coaching company anymore, and I’m going all in on the certification and mentoring students.

So. I have pivoted. It’s like I’ve continued to evolve and change my focus and where all of my energy and attention is going to go and I’m fully prepared to keep pivoting. That is, that’s the name of the game. You have to keep up, you have to pivot, you have to do also what feels right to you and feels aligned.

Um. And that’s like, again, so many luxuries here. The luxury of being a business owner and doing what I get to do and what so many of you get to do is that you kind of get to choose and if it doesn’t feel aligned, that’s has a direct impact on how much money you can make in your success in the business.

So, I mean, that’s a beautiful thing. It’s, it’s so lovely that I get to choose what’s most aligned with me, because that’s what’s gonna make me most successful. How cool is that? Entrepreneurship is the bomb most of the time. Um, so yeah, I, I have some ideas for like where else I could move into. Right now I’m fully focused on growing the certification.

Um, but I would love to do some more, like more business to business work, like going into businesses and helping from like, um. Like a team perspective, helping team members and doing like team building activities from a mindset perspective. Like, put me in your business and I’ll make sure everyone has a growth mindset and if they have a growth mindset, they’re gonna be more productive and help you succeed.

And they’re all gonna succeed and everyone’s gonna be happy and it’s gonna be great. There’s my future sales pitch. Um, but yeah, so I have some ideas of other places to go, but right now I’m incredibly happy with where I’m at. But we wanna keep growing. Okay, last one I will answer. And this was like, whew.

I read this, I read this question and literally took an audible sigh. Um, I want to respect your privacy about your new partner, but would love to hear about the process of how you healed and opened up your heart to love again. Do you see what I’m saying? Whew. Um, yeah, so I am seeing someone, it’s crazy the number of times I’ve sat in this chair and said, I’m single.

Here’s my dating stories. But yeah, I am, um, in a very new relationship. It’s going well. And yeah, this question of opening up my heart again to love and healing is interesting. Because I find it interesting because I don’t think we’re ever going to be fully healed, ever, and I think it’s silly to think that you could be fully 110% healed before you get in a relationship with someone, especially because like everything can feel fine and dandy and you can feel.

A hundred percent healed until you’re in a relationship and now the mirrors are held up and now all the good stuff comes out to play. And none of that was an issue when you were just by yourself all of the time. But now there’s another person in the equation who’s triggering you, who’s making you think about of their things.

It’s making you consider things differently and yeah. That’s where the real healing begins, and like leveraging that to the best of your ability. So that said, it’s not to say that I was like, yep, I went through heartbreak and it super sucked and I felt all these types of ways, and now I have this huge abandonment wound that I’m working on, but like, let me dive into a relationship right away.

I mean, no, I was single for almost two and a half years. Um, and I truly didn’t even like. Think about dating someone for, I don’t know, six to 10 months, something like that, after my last relationship. So I don’t think I’m fully healed. I do think I’ve worked on myself a lot and I’ve learned so much about myself through that past relationship and that whole situation.

I have a fantastic therapist, um, which is hard to find. Let me tell you the number of therapy therapists I’ve. Gone through because I would sit in sessions and just be like, these are all the questions I’m already asking myself. Like, I’m gonna need you to do better. Um, I’m being semis sarcastic here, but, um, my current therapist, shout out to Kelly is fantastic and really makes me think about things differently, in ways that I haven’t ever had in one of those like therapeutic settings before.

So super helpful. Have learned a lot. I’ve gotten very clear like. Painfully clear on what I’m looking for and also how I want to show up in a relationship. And I couldn’t have done that without my past experiences either. So I guess that’s all, that’s all part of the process of opening up your heart again.

Um, but here’s the thing. I have a growth mindset and there wasn’t ever really. A time through heartbreak and through all of this where I was like, I’m swearing off of men like never again, or I am not ready to receive love again. I always, it’s, it’s a desire of mine to have a person that I spend the rest of my life with.

Like that is something that I want and to be closing off from love would be going against my wants and desires. If I desire that, if I want that, then I can’t also at the same time be closed off from love. So I think it’s just getting really clear on what it is that you want, because ultimately then the rest of the stuff needs to fall into line with what you want, otherwise you’re not gonna get it.

So, yeah, I know it seems kind of like. Lame, I guess for me to be like, I haven’t been closed off to love that. I haven’t been through heartbreak to the point where I’m like, this is not worth it to me anymore, because it still is and there’s, it’s just a risk and there’s, it’s a risk like any other risk in life, and it’s been proven to me over and over again that taking the risks is where the, the reward comes from.

Like no risk, no reward. No risk. No magic. Like that’s, that’s how you win at life is by taking risks, in my opinion. Obviously calculated educated risks a lot of the time. Like please don’t just like be jumping off buildings and being like, Casey told me, Casey told me. So, um, but. So I think it’s, it’s sort of like, yeah, now I’m, am I ready to risk it all again?

Are we ready to like, take this risk? Is the, is the reward worth the risk? And in this case, the reward is always worth it. Even if, you know, things don’t work out in the relationship I’m in now or whatever, I’m still going to learn so much and get so much out of it and feel very loved and taken care of and appreciated in the meantime.

And, yeah. I hope that answers your question. I feel like it kind of went a few different directions there, but Okay. That was the last question that I had for this. Ask me anything episode. Again, if you would like to ask me anything. There is a form link in the show notes of this episode and I would love to see your question in there and answer it for you next time.

Okay. Thank you for listening. I hope you enjoyed this and please let me know if you did. So I will keep doing them. And that’s all I have for you is see you next time. And that’s a wrap for today’s episode of Not Another Mindset show. If you enjoyed today’s episode, don’t forget to hit that subscribe button.

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Or just wanna connect, hang out, chat a little bit. Come find me on Instagram. I’m Coach Casey, Joe over there. That is where I hang out the most in the land of social media. Alright, my friends, that is all I have for you this time. I so appreciate you being here and love to see you prioritizing your growth.

I’ll see you next time.