Hello my friends, and welcome back to not another Mindset show. I’m your host, Dr. Kasey Jo. My goal with this podcast is to take the science of mindset and behavior change and distill it down into actionable takeaways for you. Together we’re gonna unpack research around motivations, self-sabotage, willpower, and so much more, and we’re going to take all of that and translate it into strategies you can immediately apply to your health fitness.

Relationships, business, marketing clients, all of the things. But just to be clear, it’s not all serious and sciencey around here. We’re gonna have a ton of fun too, and I’m so excited to share all of this with you. Alright, let’s go ahead and get into the episode and welcome back to not another Mindset show.

I’m excited for this episode. Because so much of mindset shifting and rewiring your brain comes down to getting uncomfortable. And the truths that I have for you today, I really do hope, resonate. They strike a chord and make you start thinking differently because that really is at the core of a lot of change in general.

And bettering ourselves and bettering our lives is. Thinking differently than we did before. And when I tell you. This podcast episode is probably the easiest one that I’ve ever had to prepare for because these truths are things that just live inside my brain, and I am constantly reminded of all of the time through my own life circumstances and also having to like intentionally remind myself of in these circumstances.

However, however, there was a time where none of this came very naturally to me. I. Wasn’t even really thinking this direction. I would go so far to say is that I was a relatively negative person. We’re talking like seven to 10 years ago. But then I found the beautiful work of mindset and the research and the science and the understanding and have helped so many people and myself shift mindsets along the way and just, and make incredible changes in their lives.

And obviously if it’s not obvious. That is what I’m here to do. I’m here to help you. I’m here to help your clients and just really recognize your potential and how much control you have over unlocking that potential. So with that said, some uncomfortable truths that I have for you that I hope. Resonate, strike a chord and help you think differently.

The first one is you get to decide what things mean to you. Listen, we’ve all had circumstances, situations, people in our lives that at face value, straight up just sucked. There’s no other way of putting it right. But even if you’re not dealt the best hand in life, you get to decide what happens next and what meaning you assign to that.

So for an example, I went through a pretty rough breakup at the end of 2022. It was kind of like rug ripped out underneath me type of situation. Didn’t really see it coming whatsoever. And. In those moments, obviously, and if you’re listening to this and you’ve been through a bad breakup, which I can probably guarantee that’s the majority of you at some point in your life, it can be really easy to just be, why is this happening to me?

Why doesn’t this person want me anymore? What’s wrong with me? I’m never gonna find someone. This was the person I wanted to spend my life with, yada, yada, yada. In that moment, that’s where I really got to see like my mindset shine super, super bright. Yeah, because instead of thinking like, is this the end of my life as I knew it, which to be honest, it kind of was.

And, but instead of like ruminating on that and pitying myself instead, I, and I’m so proud to say that this was my, my mindset and my belief system at the time. I really, truly believed that this was an opportunity that yes, my life was going down a certain path and that’s the direction I thought I was gonna go.

And I was excited to do that. And then it fully took a really, the hardest left turn ever, and there was so much excitement in that uncertainty that I thought I knew where my life was going and. Now it’s going an entirely different direction. What’s that going to look like? What people am I gonna meet?

What’s going to be presented to me? What opportunities am I gonna have that I wouldn’t have had otherwise? So in those situations, you get to decide what it means. What it means about you, what it means about your future that’s entirely in your control. And it can be kind of overwhelming to take on that responsibility, but.

If you can just, everything opens up, everything blossoms, if you will, because no longer are you controlled by the people and the circumstances and the situations and the hands that you were dealt in your life. You are in the driver’s seat. You get to decide. So yes, you can sit there and go, this is fucking shitty.

But what do I get to do with this next? And what opportunities are going to be presented to me because of this that maybe I don’t even see right now? And I mean, even like on the relationship side of this, like I, I mean, here’s the thing. I decided to basically pick up my life and move it halfway across the country after this.

But I just, I kept thinking to myself like, man, I thought that I was gonna be with this person forever. But now I have no idea who I’m gonna end up with. And that’s so exciting. Like, who is he gonna be? Who is he? If it’s something even better than what I already had. So you get to decide what things mean to you, and the meaning that you assign to things will determine the trajectory.

All of the next steps, like where you get to go and how fucking cool. Is that, but it’s uncomfortable. It’s uncomfortable to take that responsibility and to not shove it off onto other people or circumstances. You know what comes up for me a lot here is victim mentality. And I hear people obviously talk about victim mentality a lot.

And to me, all I hear is fixed mindset, because as a victim you don’t have control. You don’t get to decide, but the reality is you do. So it’s uncomfortable to sit with this, but you really do have the power, my friend. All right, next. Uncomfortable truth. Choosing the path of least resistance is why you keep spinning your wheels.

I like, I wanna make a, a joke about cycle classes. For those of you who follow me on Instagram, you’ve probably seen before, but one to two times per week, I go to a spin class. It is a very specific spin class with a very specific instructor who plays dubstep the entire time. You’re not familiar with dubstep.

It’s like very angry robot noises. It’s like the, the heaviest. Bass music in the realm of EDM, and that is my favorite type of music. Fun fact, if you did not know, but, okay. Anyway, I wanted, I wanted to make a joke about that. Like you’re spinning your wheels if you’re choosing the path of least resistance all of the time.

And I think about cycle, because obviously you’re riding a bike to nowhere when you’re doing a spin class. Right. But that doesn’t really make sense here. What does make sense is if you’re going to spin classes all of the time and you’re never turning up the bike, ’cause you again, you get to decide you’re in control.

You are in the power to make the decision to turn up your bike, to challenge yourself. And if you’re going to cycle classes, if you’re doing anything. Yeah, multiple times per week and not making the decision to challenge yourself, you’re honestly wasting your time and you are in fact spinning your wheels on that, on that spin bike, and it’s in your control to make the most of those situations.

Otherwise, you’re just gonna end up, keep going to class and not really gaining any significant benefit. So if you’re constantly cutting corners or choosing the, the easiest route. You’re not really doing yourself any favors, and that’s uncomfortable. It’s uncomfortable to think that like if I take the more difficult path, if I take the path of most resistance, that’s where I’m actually gonna grow and learn and develop and become a better version of myself.

But it’s not easy. It’s literally not easy at all. So. To have to sit in the discomfort of like, okay, if this is hard, if this is challenging, this is where I actually get better. That’s, that’s an uncomfortable truth. But here’s the thing, if it was easy, if you were always choosing the path of least resistance, you wouldn’t ever fricking learn anything.

So again, you’re spinning your bike to nowhere and not getting any significant benefit out of it. And number two. If you achieve something after going through a super easy process to get there, I’m willing to bet that you’re not gonna appreciate it very much because you didn’t work for it. And we as humans appreciate things most that we had to work for.

We had to put time and effort in, and it’s also what we praise most. In ourselves and with others. If I told you I did an online course over the weekend, like cool, that’s great. If I told you I got a PhD, like wow, that’s impressive. And why is that? It’s because it was hard. People understand that a lot of time and effort had to go into that.

A lot of sacrifice, a lot of late nights, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of things in order to get there. And people understand that and we understand that about ourselves. So I think that’s interesting too when you think about it. And we praise other people’s accomplishments for working hard and putting in the effort and the dedication.

But then when it comes to us, we’re like, how do I take the easiest way to get there when we’re out here praising everyone else’s effort and dedication and hard work? So choosing the path of least resistance is why you keep spinning your wheels. That is an uncomfortable truth. Okay, next one. This is something I say all of the time.

If you’ve been in my atmosphere for any amount of time, you’ve probably heard me say this discomfort breeds growth. And this obviously falls in line with everything I’ve said so far. But I wanna take this a step further. I don’t just mean here that if it’s hard, if it’s challenging, that’s good. Instead, I really encourage you to seek it, to look for it, to lean into it, to want it.

I want you to want to be uncomfortable, not just embrace it if it shows up on your front doorstep, because over time. If you are actually seeking discomfort, if you’re looking for those challenging situations because you know there’s so much goodness inside of that, you are quite literally retraining your brain to see those uncomfortable situations, those challenging situations, those difficult situations.

As something good. So when they do show up on your front doorstep, it’s kind of like, oh, cool, I was looking for you anyway, rather than slam slamming the door in their face. Right? So this is something that I, I’ve noticed in myself, and I’ve actually even surprised myself so many times where I’ve been in the thick of it, been in a bad situation, been.

Hurt by other people. And I like literally can feel it inside me of like, oh, this is like kind of exciting. Like, like let’s get in there. Like let’s get our hands dirty. And I think this is why, because I don’t shy away from discomfort. In fact, I go out and seek it because I know that I will learn from it.

I will grow from it. There’s something so good on the other side of that rather than staying comfortable. So when those situations arise. I shouldn’t be surprised, but I am still surprised sometimes where I’m like, why do I actually feel kind of excited about this? And I would love for you all to get to that same place.

And this is something that I very much keep in mind. Keep top of mind when I’m dating. Which we’re still out here, we’re still on the streets, guys. Um, and I am getting to know someone for the first time. You know, you have those conversations of like, oh, well what do you look for in a partner? What’s important to you in a relationship?

All of that good stuff. And this is something I always bring up and I, I talk about, you know, conflict and how in relationships things aren’t easy all of the time. And I really am looking for someone who. Is excited for that part. Also, that they understand that it’s not going to be easy all the time, and they actually also look forward to the discomfort that arises because how good is it when you get to sit down with your partner?

One of you is upset about something, you’re both upset about something, and. You sit down and you’re both just seeking to understand and uncover what you both can learn about each other and the relationship in order to continue to improve it. And if you were to shy away from that or just assume that things are always gonna be fine and dandy, you miss out on all of that.

So that’s something that I, I think about a lot when I am trying to find my partner, manifest the husband. Um. I need to have someone who’s like, yeah, bring it on. Let’s get our hands dirty together because we’re going to get so much out of this and it’s what’s going to allow our relationship to grow. So this, this goes so far beyond just your, what’s inside of you and growing yourself, but relationships with other people too.

All right, last uncomfortable truth I have for you today. Maybe I’ll do more episodes like this ’cause this is very fun for me. Feeling like an imposter can actually be a good thing. Ooh, imposter syndrome. Not a comfortable thing, and it’s not a comfortable truth to sit with that. It actually might be a good thing, but it can, it’s so beneficial if you can get yourself here so beneficial.

What comes up here for me is the Dunning Kruger effect, which is essentially this idea that. The people who are most competent and think they know everything are the people who actually know the least. And then the opposite is true. So the people who feel like, oh my gosh, like I’m never gonna know all of this stuff, I’m never gonna stack up against the experts are typically the people that know more than they are giving themselves credit for.

And I am again willing to bet that’s a lot of you listening to this podcast right now. If you feel like there’s more to learn that you’re never gonna be able to do enough, great. That’s awesome. Use that as fuel to continue to grow. ’cause the people who think that they already have all the tools, have all the knowledge that they ain’t growing, they’re going nowhere.

Talking about spinning wheels to to nowhere land. So instead, if you have these feelings of like, oh my gosh, this person knows more than I do, how am I ever gonna be like them? I am, I’m never gonna know as much as them. That’s, that’s okay. That’s okay. This is actually a good thing because it means that there’s more for you to learn and you’re aware of it, and therefore you should be willing.

To learn more versus just staying stagnant and being comfortable with how much you already know. That’s fucking boring. Who wants to do that? You just wanna live your life feeling like you know everything and never learn any, anything ever again. Like you’re gonna get bored of that very quickly. So keep in mind.

You likely know more than you give yourself credit for because you don’t think you know enough. So this is a little bit of a pep talk inside this uncomfortable truth. But I guess like another uncomfortable aspect of this is, guess what? You’re never gonna know it all. There is never going to be an end.

To that like, well of knowledge, there’s always going to be more to know. So that’s uncomfortable. But the best thing you can do here is get comfortable with the fact that you’re never gonna know it all. And instead seek to know more and use that to your advantage. Alright, my friends, I hope that this was helpful.

I am curious to know if it was, and I would really love to hear from you and if this is like you would like more episodes like this. Obviously I’m not bringing like research studies into episodes like this, but these are really fun for me ’cause it also allows me to reflect on my life and my success and what I’ve been able to do and just how my own mindset has shifted over time.

Like as you can imagine as a mindset researcher, you end up thinking a lot about. Your own mindset, what do they say? Like, research is me search, and researchers tend to like do things that are based on their own life experiences. Um, yeah, let me know what you think. Please, please, please, please. I beg if you, no, I’m not gonna beg you.

You can do it if you want to. You don’t have to. No pressure. I would love for you to leave a review and when you leave a review, don’t just stop there. Screenshot that puppy and put it into the review form that we have in the show notes because every single month I am giving away one of my DIY workshops.

To one of our reviewers, but I can’t just choose a review because I don’t have your contact information. So I need that in order for you to win some cool stuff. Okay? Thank you so much for being here, and I will see you next time. And that’s a wrap for today’s episode of Not Another Mindset show. If you enjoyed today’s episode, don’t forget to hit that subscribe button so you get notified of the next one, because if you’re anything like me, if the episodes aren’t popping up for you automatically.

You’ll keep forgetting to come back to the show even if you really, really enjoyed it. So go ahead and hit that subscribe button and make it super easy for you. And of course, if you wanna see more episodes just like this one, I’d love for you to let me know by leaving a review. I know, I know it’s super annoying to do, but the few seconds that it takes means the world to me and also ensures that I can keep providing free education and value to you and just to sweeten the deal.

I am going to be picking a random reviewer every single month to receive a free workshop or product from me. If you’re looking for more free resources or just wanna connect, hang out, chat a little bit, come find me on Instagram. I’m Coach Casey, Joe over there. That is where I hang out the most in the land of social media.

Alright, my friends, that is all I have for you this time. I so appreciate you being here and love to see you prioritizing your growth. I’ll see you next time.