[00:00:00] Hello and welcome back to Not Another Mindset Show. Today is a little bit of a different episode. However, I feel like I’ve said that the last, at least the last episode, if not the last two episodes. I feel like there’s going to be a lot of different episodes given that I’m just now starting the show.

This is episode So if it’s a different episode than the ones previously there, chances are, I mean, chances are pretty high that it will be right. But I digress. What we are doing today is still quite different. And I am mainly speaking to my health and fitness coaches out there today. So. For those of you who don’t know, I have created, I am the founder of the Health Mindset Coaching Certification.

And this is a certification program for health and fitness professionals to better understand how to leverage the science, and yes, I [00:01:00] mean, Science of Mindset, Behavior Change, and Psychology. So, essentially, what I’ve done in my PhD and in my time researching mindset for health and fitness behavior change, I’ve distilled that down into a 13 week program for coaches to learn from.

And it is my bread and butter. That’s my most favorite thing to do ever. And it is a, I say, instructor led, but self paced course. So what I mean by that is that we only open enrollment two times per year currently. And although you are going through modules and watching pre recorded content from me, we are still doing a live call every single week to Go through client case study questions, review the content, talk about application exercises for all of the skills and the science and the knowledge you just learned, etc.

[00:02:00] So I say all of this because Some of the favorite things that I do inside my business are those live calls and are discussing things with students in real time, talking about their clients and working through things like self sabotage, all or nothing thinking, fixed mindset, basically anything psychological that gets in the way of their clients seeing lasting changes in their health and fitness, which.

It’s like anything psychological. It’s pretty much all psychological at that point, which is why the certification exists. And for those who graduate from HMCC, they have the option to join a small membership offer that I have, which is the HMCC alumni group. And in the alumni group, we have our own private sessions every single month where students are continuing to learn from me and also bringing their client cases and just kind of like keeping up to date on their skills and their strategies with their clients.

So what I have for you guys today, long winded introduction to [00:03:00] say, I have a client case question that came from one of the alumni group members. So we have private Facebook communities for both HMCC and for the HMCC alumni members. And this came through. from an HMCC graduate. She’s now alumni member and I want to read it to you and answer it in real time.

And I think this will give you a very good idea too if you are a coach who’s on the fence maybe about joining HMCC in the future or maybe you are a current HMCC student or a graduate and are wondering what it’s like inside the alumni community. This is what we’re doing all the time. Like we’re constantly talking about what’s going on with your client.

How do we troubleshoot? And it’s just a really cool collaborative environment, too, because everyone who’s in the alumni group already graduated for HMC from HMCC. So although I am sitting there as like the instructor, um, kind of like the head person who’s leading these calls and the group, [00:04:00] everyone already has knowledge and understanding and strategies and things that they’ve tried.

So. There’s been many times on these calls where I kind of just sit back and listen 10 minutes or so as everyone else is helping each other and it is a beautiful environment that I am so proud of just creating in general and also just love to be a part of myself. Okay, so getting on to the question or I guess it was more so like a just say what do I do with this client type situation, which we get a lot of those, a ton of them.

Um, Both in HMCC and the alumni group so we can, again, continue to troubleshoot together, but here’s what’s going on with this client. So, this alumni student said, What do you do to help a client out of a funk? My client is in a bit of a depression. She’s older, not married, feels alone, which leads to her not feeling good enough, not pretty enough, and all the not good enoughs, even though she knows she’s none of these [00:05:00] things.

Then, she doesn’t eat well because of it, and she currently has tendinitis in her arms and her tennis elbow, so she’s not doing any lifts with her arms or holding any weight, so this has also got her feeling down. I’d love some guidance with her. Questions to ask would be great and any advice I’ll gladly take.

Thank you. So, what do I say to this? To this client who is feeling not good enough, feeling that she’s probably not cut out for this. Obviously, injuries, dude, injuries just suck. Can we just say it? Injuries suck. Especially if you are someone who’s used to being active and consider yourself an exerciser.

It’s kind of maybe part of your identity at this point and that gets taken away. It’s hard. I, um, for those of you in the video, I don’t know if you can see, this might be kind of far away. But I, I broke my wrist in October, end of September, uh, early October of last year. It is, what is today? [00:06:00] It is May 2024.

That was October 2023. And not being able to do my normal activities. Um, I also, I have not gone back to yoga yet, still, because I can’t get my hand fully flexed in the way I need to. It sucks. It really like rips some part of you away from you. And being able to help clients through that, because it’s all mindset.

It’s all perspective. It’s all human behavior at that point. Being able to help them with that is gold. It really is. So, okay, let’s talk about this client. The first thing I want to point out and is very important to note is something that we see here that there are clear negative downstream effects to having a fixed mindset about who you are.

She is saying, I am not good enough. I’m not pretty enough. I’m not whatever. And this coach is already [00:07:00] recognizing how her feeling that way is leading her to Do less and not care as much and to me what I’m seeing is that It’s a very it’s a very very classic fixed mindset thing when someone thinks I’m not, I’m not good enough.

I’m not capable enough. I can’t do this. I can’t change. I can’t improve. Even if it is just like this subtle in the back of your mind type of feeling, what is the point of trying if that is the reality? So your fixed mindset is telling you that you’re not good enough for this. You’re not capable of doing this.

Then what would be the point in actually trying if you can’t do it anyway. I mean, it’s, it’s silly, right? I mean, obviously, like, it’s, it’s like saying, I, I can’t run a marathon tomorrow. Which, like, obviously I [00:08:00] can’t. I mean, I could. I could certainly try. Um, it’s like saying that, and so therefore I will not try to run a marathon tomorrow.

Which, obviously, I won’t. Silly example because, like, that’s like an extreme case of, like, can’t do it type of thing. But if you think about it, this is something that a lot of clients struggle with. A lot of people struggle with. They’ve tried. 50 diets between the age of 15 and 50, and none of them have worked.

They have not stuck, they’ve lost weight, but they have not kept the weight off. So, when 50 year old Sheila, who’s gone through 50 diets in her life, goes to It comes across you as a health and fitness coach, and you start talking in the DMs about what you do and how you could help her. And she comes to you with, I’ve tried everything, nothing works for me.

[00:09:00] And you’re just like, Oh, here we go. Here’s another one of those. But you’re not thinking about it from a mindset perspective. Obviously, she’s not going to want to work with you because she’s tried so many things and she has a lot of evidence as to why weight loss is not, weight loss and maintenance of that weight loss is something that’s in the cards for her.

Obviously, she feels that way. She’s tried a ton of things and has a lot of evidence to support that it’s this doesn’t work for her. This is not this is not her endgame. So instead of seeing it as like, okay, well, everyone says they’ve tried everything, but you haven’t tried this, you know, like, that’s true, but Speaking to her that way is probably not going to get you anywhere, and those of you who have tried have seen that it doesn’t get you anywhere.

Instead, we need to see it from her perspective that, like, she has tried a lot of things, so she has a lot of evidence to support that she can’t do it. So it makes sense that she would be in this place of, like, I’m just not going to try anymore, because I have this really strong fixed mindset belief that I’m not capable, I [00:10:00] can’t accomplish this thing.

What is the point of trying to work on something and put effort towards something if you know it’s not possible? Right? Like, I think that’s something we can all, like, understand, but the problem, the problem really is, is that that fixed mindset isn’t necessarily true, but that is what we believe to be true.

That is what we’re telling ourselves. It’s our perspective. It’s our reality. So it’s like arguing against something that can’t happen, even though underlying all of that is that it can. And what our jobs are as the coach is to help our clients break through that fixed mindset facade and help them realize that they really can change.

And now suddenly Sheila in the DMs is like, Her eyes are open and she’s feeling so much more hopeful and excited and ready and excited to work with you because you are giving her this feeling of hope and this different opportunity to see things differently. And that’s my friends is the [00:11:00] power of a growth mindset, not just in your coaching practices, but as I was kind of like alluding to here in sales, marketing, talking to prospective clients, all of it, which by the way, for those of you who have gone through HMCC, you know, this, those of you have not, once you enroll.

In the health mindset coaching certification, there’s also an opportunity to go through the business track, which is where we apply a lot of this stuff from a psychological mindset perspective to things like email marketing and ideal client development, messaging, content creation, things like that. So something you can look forward to if that’s something you are interested in joining us in in the future.

So okay, with that said, so we’re already noticing here how her fixed mindset is impacting her behaviors like that’s been it. abundantly clear, already noticed, etc. Thoughts influence behaviors, and this is why mindset matters so much, and literally is why I am sitting here speaking to you lovely people, is because of how [00:12:00] much mindset matters, how much it directs what we ultimately end up doing, and therefore, So, some things we know about this client, or I guess this client’s situation, some things that we already know, um, is that you can’t seek happiness and wholeness from another person.

So, um, this particular client is feeling lonely, she’s feeling not good enough for a relationship, amongst not feeling good enough for other things, right? So we know that you can’t seek happiness and wholeness in another, another person. Because if you rely on that, even when you do find your person, your better half, um, in that case, it’s still not going to feel like enough.

Because we know it won’t happen. We know that having another person in your life Someone that you’re maybe like swearing the rest of your life to by way of marriage, whatever. That [00:13:00] person can’t be what gives you wholeness and happiness. And that’s not what’s going to happen. And if you’re expecting that, you’re in for a really rude awakening.

And that rude awakening is, I found my person and I’m still not happy and whole. So you need to be able to find that in yourself, right? So let’s table that part. The other part of this that we know is that If you’re operating from a place of. not enoughness, then you’re likely only going to attract things that support or confirm your beliefs that you’re not enough in any situation.

And when I say attract things, I don’t mean like law of attraction. However, I actually believe that that’s you’re Where a lot of this idea comes from, is it law of attraction or is it actually just confirmation bias and confirmation bias for those of you who are not aware of this like psychological term is essentially just [00:14:00] how we as humans have this bias, this desire to search for, interpret, favor, favor, favor.

recall information that confirms or supports the beliefs or values that we already have. So we tend to do this as humans. We tend to recall information, information, search for information. We don’t realize we’re doing it. But we’re doing that in confirmation of what we already know, what we already believe.

So if you believe that you’re not enough, you’re going to be seeking things that essentially provide evidence and prove that. You’re not going to be seeking evidence of, of the contrary, of the latter, of the, the opposite of that being that you are enough. So call it law of attraction, call it whatever.

This is where I can kind of be like, hey, I see you. woo woo people law of attraction land. But I also am wondering how much of that is actually just confirmation bias and is something that we do as humans, that we’re constantly seeking to confirm our own beliefs. Therefore, [00:15:00] we are attracting things that do that as well, hence law of attraction.

If anyone wants to argue with me on this point, feel free. But it is interesting to me when I see some of these like terms where I’m like, isn’t that how I’m, I’m confused because I think we already know this in human psychology, like how we think about things and what we do. But anyway, so with this client, we obviously don’t want to just go to her and say these things.

We don’t want to go to her and say, Okay. Just so you know, because you think you’re not enough, that’s all you’re going to continue to attract. Probably will not land favorably for her. We also don’t necessarily want to go to her and say, Just so you know, you’re not going to find wholeness and happiness in someone else.

So like, maybe cut the shit and stop telling me that you’re lonely and you don’t feel good enough. Because if you find someone, it won’t matter. If this is how you feel. Like, obviously, guys, like, I can’t do that. We cannot go to these clients and, [00:16:00] and, and say it like it is in those cases. It’s not going to be productive, right?

But these are things that we know, we understand, we read this client case situation and go, okay, this is, this is what we’re kind of working with. Like, we’re aware of this. That doesn’t mean we’re going to go to the client and tell them that directly. Because we need her to arrive at these conclusions herself.

It is not because these conclusions should not be something shared. We don’t want her to realize that she’s just going to attract more of the same. We don’t want her to realize that wholeness and happiness found in someone else is not A real thing. We want her to realize those things, we just don’t want to be the one to tell her.

We want her to come to these conclusions herself. And this brings me to like a very, very, very important point when it comes to behavior change coaching, mindset coaching, whatever you want to call it. Actually helping people make changes that last. Autonomy, belongingness, and competence [00:17:00] are our three basic psychological needs.

This stems from something called self determination theory. It’s kind of, um, a theory that helps us. It’s no better and understand better human motivation. And I’m going to table all of that for likely a different episode. But when we’re talking about the ABCs here, autonomy, belongingness and competence, something that comes up for me really big with this client is what and everything I was just saying is autonomy and competence and autonomy really, really specifically.

We want our clients to feel like they are making their own decisions, that there are Drive there in the driver’s seat. We’re just in the passenger seat holding the GPS type of situation. So in this case, with her feeling this way, we don’t want to just go to her and say, since you’re feeling all of this way, just know that this is what could happen.

We want her to be guided by certain questions that we ask her. And come to you and say, you know what, like, I’m, I’m realizing through everything that we’re talking about that [00:18:00] even if I do find someone, it’s probably not in my best interest to think that they’re gonna, like, complete me, that I’m gonna find happiness and be my happiest every single day just because of another person.

We want her to come to us and say, hey, after all of those questions you gave me, I’m recognizing that if I keep operating this way and keep feeling this way about myself, I’m probably just going to continue to feel that way. So in order for me to see something different in my life, I probably need to start thinking differently.

I mean, that would be the best case scenario, right? That would be the best case scenario if a client came and said all of those things and we didn’t need to tell her directly. And it may not be as clean and simple as that, but that’s like inside the health mindset coaching certification and everything I do teach coaches.

Honestly, if you were just like scroll through my Instagram for three seconds, you will get. tons of different questions, strategies, things of that nature that you can use with clients to help guide them to their own [00:19:00] conclusions without you giving it to them. So the other thing we can do here too to kind of like help her get there is to tell a story.

And this is actually very evidence based. When it comes to the literature, the research that we have related to mindset, one way that we can help cultivate a growth mindset in someone else. And this is used all of the time. Um, some of it’s called, they call it, literally call this in the research saying is believing when we have someone tell a story or hear a story or.

Make up a story or write a letter to someone else related to the thing that they are struggling with, they are more likely to start to develop a growth mindset about it. So, for instance, with this client who’s feeling not enough, she’s feeling that she’s not good enough for anything, that she’s injured, she’s feeling like worthless, whatever.

This is where [00:20:00] you can tell a story of another client who were, who is essentially in her same shoes and how she was able to overcome that, the things that she did, how she felt differently in the end. If you have a personal story where you can pull parallels between yourself and the client and make it very clear that they are similar situations.

A word of caution here, anytime you are using personal stories from your own life, remember that your clients see you as like this epitome of health and fitness. That you make all of the correct healthy choices all of the time. And you’ve got all this stuff figured out and it’s easy for you. So anytime, and I caution this with client, with coaches all of the time.

That it feels good and it feels easy and it feels like you’re connecting with the client when you’re sharing stories about your own life. But remember that the client sees you as much better at everything health and fitness related. You are the coach than they are. So sometimes hearing stories from you is actually not that helpful because [00:21:00] they don’t really see themselves in you.

And that is the goal. That is the saying is believing. That is the, the, like the juicy part of what I’m talking about from my cultivating a growth mindset perspective is that that story, whatever they’re hearing has to feel like it’s similar to their situation. They can see themselves in the shoes of that person in the story.

So explain a personal situation, tell a story of something that is very, very, very parallel examples. And where These things prove to be true that wholeness cannot be found in another person that feeling like you’re not enough is going to only attract more of the same and confirm what you already know.

And then after that, you can ask her essentially what her thoughts were around that and whether or not it resonated for her and she thinks like, like, what does that like? What does that feel like for you now that I shared that story? Or maybe it could be a situation where you can ask her, like, is there anyone in your life where.

[00:22:00] You know, is struggling with similar feelings and then they were able to work through it. And if not, then maybe share a story from your life or a client who’s similar to her. Because it’s even more powerful if she can like think of a essentially a case study in her own life where someone was able to successfully work through it.

Because if some, if she can see herself in these stories, this saying is believing type of act, then she’s going to be more likely to believe in her ability to kind of Get through it, get to the other side, better understand that she can make herself happy, she can be happy and whole all on her own, and a partner’s only going to add to that.

Or she’s going to start to understand that if she, that thinking a different way is actually going to be what leads her to attracting what she actually is looking for instead of just confirming what she feels like she knows about herself, that she’s not enough. So. Depending on her [00:23:00] response, you could go deeper here.

This is where, like, sometimes stuff like this is tough because I can give, hey, this is where I would start with this client, but then what’s beautiful about being in the HMCC alumni group is that I’ll say, here’s where you can start, and then we have another call the next month, or we obviously have our Facebook group that’s always open.

I’ll say, start with this, come back and tell me what happens, and then we’ll troubleshoot from there. So these coaches who are working with me, we can work together, troubleshoot a step one, they go implement step one, then they can come back later and say, hey, I did step one, this is what the client ended up saying.

Here’s what I think I’m going to do. What are your thoughts, Casey? And we can kind of continue to follow this client as time goes on. Like that’s happened. I have some students who’ve been in the alumni group for years at this point. So we’ve been following some of their clients for a very long time, and it is So, again, depending on her response, there’s a lot of different directions you can go.

Another thing that I really like, um, is from, it stems from cognitive behavioral therapy. And again, [00:24:00] we are not. We are not doing therapy. We are not therapists unless you are there’s actually I think we have three or four like clinical psychologists or social workers or mental health counselors currently in this round spring 2024 cohort of the health mindset coaching certification.

So there are people who have advanced training and degrees. in the land of therapy that are still coming to HMCC to learn some of these skills, but it’s so great because being able to, like, converse with them on the calls and get their opinions is so valuable. But anyway, this is why I need notes to keep me on track.

So CBT, cognitive behavioral therapy, we’re not doing therapy, but there are some tools and some aspects of it that we can pull from. And you can actually do this with yourself too. It doesn’t actually have to be some, like, these questions don’t necessarily need to be presented to clients. This is something you can use with yourself too.

And so essentially what this can do is help break negative thought patterns. So what I’m hearing with this client is her feeling like she’s not enough, she’s, she’s, [00:25:00] she’s injured, she’s broken, she is worthless right now, um, and asking her, let’s, let’s pull on like the, I’m like, I’m not pretty enough, I’m not good enough type of thing.

energy that she’s, she’s holding. So we can ask her, what evidence do you have to support this? And here’s the thing. Thoughts don’t come from nowhere. We have something that happened to us, some situation that led us to feel a certain way and think. a certain way. So what evidence do you have to support that you’re, that you’re not good enough?

Well, I’ve, she may say I’ve been single for a decade. So clearly I’m not pretty enough. I’m not good enough to find like a romantic partner. So that’s fair evidence, right? And you can say, okay, it’s valid that you would feel that way based on your experience. However, Let’s also talk about the evidence that you have against this fact.

What evidence do you have against the fact that you, that you are not enough in these capacities? And so she may have to dig a [00:26:00] little bit deeper, get a little bit uncomfortable and say, you know, like, my, my friends always talk about, like, how pretty my eyes are, how great my hair is, and, um, I get told all the time that I’m, like, really confident and that I would make a really good mother, things like that.

So it’s like, okay, we’re gathering the evidence to support that you are indeed enough, you know, like these are, these are things that are also just as true. So now that we’re here, we have evidence for, we have evidence against, what’s the most accurate depiction of this thought? Tell me. Based on this.

Klein is probably going to struggle a little bit, but discomfort breeds growth, right? And she may come back and say, okay, well, you’ve been single for a really long time, but I know that I’m enough, based on all of these other aspects and people who are in my life right now. Instead of maybe basing it off the person who’s not in my life yet, keyword yet, um, I guess the [00:27:00] real accurate depiction of this is that I just haven’t found the person to appreciate these characteristics, these qualities that I know that I have.

So it’s not that I’m not enough, I just haven’t found the person to appreciate the enoughness that I do have. Again, I’m kind of coming up with best case scenario of what she might say, right? But that’s kind of like to give you an idea of like the, the direction of where this should go and how it can go.

And then. little added layer on the cherry on top of all of this, asking her how she feels now after working through that, going through that exercise with you. And she may say something like, I feel more hopeful now. I feel a lot more, I feel a little bit relieved. I feel like my thoughts have kind of settled a little bit and just like asking her to always kind of come back to that feeling that she’s feeling right now.

if she ever starts to feel like she’s not enough again. Now, this can be delivered. I know a lot of you, most of you likely, are online health and fitness coaches. That’s who I work with 90 percent of the time. And you might be going, okay, Casey, how do I do this? I send [00:28:00] voice memos and emails, or I use WhatsApp with my clients, or I’m doing this entirely remotely.

How am I supposed to do this? It could be made into worksheet format. You could go back and forth over email. You guys can have a little like voice memo conversation back and forth. If you wanted to, you could say, do you have 15 minutes to chat on the phone this evening? It could be super, super powerful.

There’s a lot of ways to deliver this stuff. So in general, with this client case, this very short client case, obviously I went a lot of different directions. We talked about a lot of different things and there’s still so many more directions that we could go. So I hope this was helpful, but please let me know if you like the style of episode, if you like me.

putting, putting up a client case and saying, this is what we’re working with. Here’s the directions you can potentially go from like a mindset and behavior change and psychological direction. And if you think it would be helpful for me to do more of these client case study walkthroughs, please let me know.

Again, as I said at the beginning, this is a different episode than I’ve done before, but all of these episodes are going to be pretty [00:29:00] much different than the other ones. So I’m really trying to put a bunch of different ones out there and then get feedback from you because you are awesome. Who I am here for, and if you like it, if you dislike it, if you think it’d be done differently, if you have any other ideas of like, wow, I really wish you would have went here with this, or I really wish you could have like, done another one, or done it differently in this way, please, please, please, please, please tell me, I would appreciate it so much, but mostly what I want you to really take away.

from this, is that clients who get stuck in these negative thought loops have intense, like, self limiting beliefs, a fixed mindset that just will not go away, and just seems to crush everything in its path, please know. As a health and fitness coach, as a coach in general, if you’re anything else, a health and fitness professional, anyone who’s helping other people work on changing their behaviors, please know your hands are not tied in situations like this.

There are so many different ways you can help. [00:30:00] Self sabotage, fixed mindset, all or nothing thinking, clients who ghost you, they don’t stick to the plan, they can’t adhere to anything. They’re motivated for a few weeks and then fall off the wagon. All of this stuff, there are solutions to. You’re not stuck.

This doesn’t have to be a, this client is just quote unquote uncoachable. There are things you can do. There are evidence based practices that you can place inside your coaching and. I would love to show you how to do exactly that inside the Health Mindset Coaching Certification. But in the meantime, we don’t open for enrollment until later this year, August of 2024, if that is something you’re interested in doing.

But in the meantime, I do have five free lessons for you. If you sign up, you put your name and email on the waitlist for the Health Mindset Coaching Certification. The waitlist does not guarantee you a spot in the program. It doesn’t force you into the program. It just makes sure that you’re going to get all the details when they do get [00:31:00] released.

Once you get on the waitlist, you’re immediately going to get five free lessons on mindset, behavior change, and psychology that you can use with your clients right away. Some of that stuff is going to sound familiar to what we talked about today, and it’ll kind of bring it full circle and really teach you the full the full meat and potatoes of a strategy that you can use with your clients rather than me kind of like talking about it a little bit more vaguely in today’s episode.

So grab those five free lessons. I’ll make sure that link is somewhere on this video or is, um, at the very least linked in the show notes. You can guys, you guys can grab it there, but I’m going to wrap up episode there. Again, please let me know if this style of episode is something that you enjoyed. If you want more of it.

I’d very much appreciate the feedback, and that’s all I have for you this time. See you next [00:32:00] time.