What that shows me is that you aren’t an effective coach and you are only capable of helping people who are making it easy on you. They never struggle. They never have difficulties with consistency. They never need adjustments to their plan. You just tell them what to do and they execute on it. Those are the only type of people you’re capable of working with.

Yikes. Hello my friends, and welcome back to not another Mindset show. I’m your host, Dr. Kasey Jo. My goal with this podcast is to take the science of mindset and behavior change and distill it down into actionable takeaways for you. Together we’re gonna unpack research around motivations, self-sabotage, willpower, and so much more, and we’re going to take all of that and translate it into strategies you can immediately apply.

To your health, fitness, relationships, business, marketing clients, all of the things. But just to be clear, it’s not all serious and sciencey around here. We’re gonna have a ton of fun too, and I’m so excited to share all of this with you. All right, let’s go ahead and get into the episode. Oh my friends, and welcome back to not another mindset show.

Today we are talking about, I was gonna say, all of the things you should not be saying as a health and fitness coach, but we’re not gonna have time to even go through all the things you shouldn’t be saying, but we are gonna pull out some pretty significant ones that I have personally seen. Posted on various social media outlets, and I’m going to break down what makes them detrimental and give some psychology and mindset and behavior change expertise type of spin on it.

Because what else would I be doing? But exactly that on this podcast. So the first one I have is quote. Only sign up when you’re ready to commit. And there’s many variations of this. Only sign up when you’re ready. Only sign up when you know you’re gonna stick to the plan. I only work with clients who blah, blah, blah.

And we’re gonna get into more of these like various sayings, but only sign up when you’re ready to commit. Why is this detrimental? There’s a lot of ways we could take this, but this statement can really just honestly. Scare away perspective clients. Those who are unsure, they’re uncertain, they’re lacking self-belief.

They need direction. It’s, there’s an assumption underneath this statement of only sign up when you’re ready to commit that it really just falls fully on the client. Like you need to be fully ready. You have the, you are the only responsible one for your level of commitment, your level of motivation, what have you.

When the reality is that’s actually your fricking job as a coach. And it really grinds my gears, really grinds my gears to see coaches out there saying like, I, I fired this client because they weren’t motivated or, and I’ve literally seen this stuff, guys. And in fact, like, I don’t even have to look for it because you all send it to me, which is the hilarious part.

Like, wow, look at what this coach is saying. And I’m like, damn, let’s make a podcast episode of it. So this statement implies. A fixed mindset by assuming that people are either ready or they’re not. There’s no in-between, and it’s totally ignoring the continuum that exists in behavior change, land of level of readiness to change.

In fact, we have an entire framework on this, it’s called the Trans theoretical Model, or the stages of change. We know that people move through. Through different stages before they reach what is the action phase, and they’re actually taking action. And even before they reached the maintenance phase where they’ve taken action and now they’re just maintaining those results, they’re maintaining those actions, the new behaviors that they’ve acquired.

So all you’re doing by saying, only sign up with me if you’re ready to commit, is encouraging a fixed mindset in people that they. Have to be fully ready before they hire a coach. And you know, that actually sucks because it’s impacting the entire industry. It’s not just impacting you when you say that.

’cause now anyone who maybe was interested in working with a coach comes across that and they’re like, damn. Well, I’m not fully ready to commit. I don’t feel a hundred percent motivated. I’m a little bit uncertain my own abilities, so I guess I can’t hire a coach, and that fricking sucks because the reality is good coaches should be able to work with clients who are not feeling a hundred percent motivated and a hundred percent ready in all of those things.

In fact, that’s why coaching should, that’s why coaching should exist in the first place. Is because we have all these people who are feeling that way, and the goal of a coach should be able to get them to a place of feeling more ready, feeling more motivated, and sticking to the plan. So readiness is, is not a binary state.

Like I mentioned. It’s a continuum. It’s a, it’s a spectrum. So your perspective, clients are going to oscillate between different levels of readiness. When they’re going through your Instagram content, they’re looking at the emails that you’re sending out, you’re speaking to them. They may feel really, really ready and motivated one day and the next day totally have a hundred percent disbelief in themselves.

So. You need to be able to help the clients who are on all those different places on the continuum, on the spectrum of readiness. So if you want to lose out on clients who you could theoretically help the most, then absolutely say that. Absolutely. You have my permission. Go out there and say, only work with me if you’re ready to commit.

You’re just alien alienating the majority of people out there who are in your audience and do need your help, which means you’re also losing out on prospective clients, prospective buyers. So what you really need to be doing is instead encouraging a growth mindset and helping people believe in themselves and helping them believe in you and believe that if they sign up to work with you, that they’re going to start feeling better about this stuff.

They’re gonna have more self-belief and. That comes, even if they’re not ready right now. We don’t wanna be discouraging people from seeking resources and seeking help if they’re not feeling a hundred percent ready, because most of the time they’re not feeling a hundred percent ready because they don’t have the tools, they don’t have the resources.

They’re second guessing, they’re spinning their wheels. All of the things that coaches are supposed to help with. So if you’re not really sure how to speak to your audience and speak to your prospective clients, your prospective buyers, when it comes to a mindset perspective, and a lot of coaches out there, like I am showcasing right now, are.

Accidentally encouraging a fixed mindset and pushing people away when they should be encouraging a growth mindset. If you’re unsure of how to do this, a actually shameless plug just released a brand new mini course, it’s called Magnetic Messaging and Inside Magnetic Messaging. I’m quite literally.

Teaching you how to speak to people who have a fixed mindset, how to speak to people who have a growth mindset, and also how to encourage a growth mindset in those fixed mindset people. And this is what you should be doing inside your Instagram content, your sales pages, your email marketing, et cetera, literally everywhere.

And magnetic messaging breaks down the science of mindset and motivation and teaches you how to incorporate that inside your messaging to make more sales. And ultimately. Be a better coach, be a better coach, be a better marketer, all of the things. So, okay. An example of like, I guess how this could look is you’re like, Hey, I, I understand this in theory and I’m not gonna tell you, you have to go by my course to get anything.

I do wanna teach you something here so you can explain. Using client testimonials or case studies inside your content, or when you’re talking to prospective clients, explain how someone, one of your past clients or not past clients, I mean, it could be a past client, but someone who’s maybe working with you now worked with you in the past and where they were when they first signed up with you.

They were hesitant. They weren’t sure if they were ready. They didn’t know if they could commit. They didn’t know if they were capable of doing the things that was going to be required of them in the coaching relationship. And then. They took the leap and now look at where they are. So it could be sort of like a transformation style type of post, but you’re speaking to this place where so many people are that they’re feeling hesitant.

You’re normalizing that hesitancy and then showcasing how inside your coaching that changes. So leap before you’re ready type of message. Okay. Inside HMCC, we do talk about a lot of other things too. I’m, I’m just thinking about more examples for you guys. Um, HMCC is the Health Mindset Coaching Certification.

It’s my signature program. We talk about like motivational interviewing techniques, which also I, I do have a free resource for you on motivational interviewing techniques. This is, um, essentially a style of communication to help people work through ambivalence. So if they’re in this place of. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.

I don’t know where I should go. Should I make this decision? Should I do that? I, I’m struggling to be consistent with something. Whatever. Motivational interviewing can be really, really powerful. So I’m also going to make sure that in the show notes of this episode, you can grab that motivational interviewing cheat sheet.

It’s totally free. It’s a freebie. It’s a free download, so you can grab that and you can use that with your clients right away. All right. The next phrase statement quote from coaches that, please, I don’t want you to be saying this, is I only work with people who stick to the plan. So there’s lots of variations of this one too.

You know, like I literally have this real in my head as I’m saying this, of this coach. He was on a reel talking about how. He had this client who he was giving all of these different solutions and plans to, and that person kept saying that they were ready to stick to it and all this stuff, and they didn’t stick to it.

And how he was frustrated because he can’t want things more than the client wants it for themselves. And how he fired that client like this is like, this is what I’m saying guys, like this is like, what? Why are we doing this? But here’s the thing. Obviously this coach has not been through HMCC, has not learned anything from me.

Um, but. Most coaches aren’t taught that, so this is detrimental because it really suggests that if someone struggles or they need adjustments or something doesn’t work for them, so they’re assuming that if they sign up to work with this coach, they better stick to whatever plan it is that they’re given because otherwise they’re shit outta luck.

This can make clients feel just generally unsupported and pressured. If I work with this person, I have to stick to the plan, otherwise I’m gonna get kicked out, basically. And that’s going to discourage them from even trying in the first place, or feeling like, honestly, even if not in a coaching relationship, they come across a coach saying, I only work with people who stick to the plan.

It’s like, okay, well I’m struggling to stick to the plan, so I guess I can’t hire a coach and I definitely can’t hire this coach, and I’m struggling to stick to a plan on my own. I can’t stick to it. Am I just a lost cause? And that’s really shitty. That sucks. That sucks for the people who are coming across that type of content and could really, truly make them stay stuck.

So again, what we see here is that you’re by saying things like this, you are losing out on working with people who really need you the most. Honestly for being fully transparent here, what it shows me is like, for instance, this, this coach that I was talking about on that reel, or any coach who’s saying, I only work with people who stick to the plan, what that shows me is that you aren’t an effective coach and you are only capable of helping people who are making it easy on you.

They never struggle. They never have difficulties with consistency. They never need adjustments to their plan. You just tell them what to do and they execute on it. Those are the only type of people you’re capable of working with. Yikes. That’s too bad. Um, ’cause between the lines, all I’m seeing is that you don’t have the tools to work with everyone.

Only a very small subset of people who are likely, already entirely motivated in sticking to the plan on their own, but they just like want to work with a coach for the, what the hell of it. Like, I don’t know. Um, I mean, I get it. Like, that’s me, right? Like when I work with my. Coach who I’ve had the same, I’ve had the same health and fitness coach for seven years.

Um, and we are now very, very, very close friends. She’s one of my best friends, which is amazing. Um, but I know how to stick to a plan. I just go to her when I’m like, right now she’s just like doing my training programming. And if I wanna like, go through a little bit of a diet phase or something, I’ll go to her and have her just like write the protocols for me so I can have that level of accountability.

And also it just allows me to outsource it myself so I don’t have to do it myself. Um, like yeah. I’m an easy client to work with, but I am not to like put myself on any kind of pedestal here. But I am the, the one to 10%, you know, most people aren’t me. Most people haven’t been health and fitness coaches for 10 years and have been in the space and in the industry for as long as I have and have already created all of the, the healthy habits that are required at the foundation.

So anyway, if you’re telling me you can only work with clients who are. 100% going to stick to the plan. All that’s telling me is that you, you’re missing some things in your coaching practices and you could be making a lot more money and helping a lot more people if you had those things. Okay. I gotta take a quick pause here to talk to you about something very important.

Your coaching forms, you know, like your application form. Check-in forms. Intake forms. You my friend, are probably missing out on a huge opportunity here because most coaches. See these forms as nothing but information gatherers. And I’m here to tell you they should be doing so much more for you. Your coaching forms should be helping your clients shift their mindset and make behavior changes that actually last.

And your forms really do have the power to do that. And I wanna show you exactly how inside my recently updated and upgraded DIY workshop miniseries transform your forms. This DIY program is a short series of video trainings from me where you’ll learn exactly how to use the science of mindset and behavior change in your coaching forms.

So yes, we’re talking application form, intake forms, check-in forms, and. We’ll even dive into your sales calls and exit surveys. This is the easiest, fastest, and most affordable way to start, including science backed strategies into your coaching practices. So it’s no wonder transform your forms is actually my most popular DIY program.

And now with these new updates, it’s even better than ever. Over 700 coaches have already picked up this workshop series. Check out the link in the show notes to learn more. Um, in addition, you know, from a, from a mindset perspective, just like more fixed mindset stuff that this will bring up for people who are seeing this type of content can create unnecessary pressure.

Perfectionism and those things like the, the external pressure and the, the feeling of the need to be perfect really is counterproductive for long-term behavior change. And if you have clients who are signing up to work with you and now they’re just like so afraid. To fail and so afraid to go off plan, there’s no way they’re gonna even be honest with you.

They’re gonna fill out their macro tracking form or their check-in form with you, and it’s gonna be all bullshit because they’re so scared that if they get off the plan and you said, I only work with people who stick to the plan, like you’re not even be getting like good data at that point. You’re not gonna get.

You’re not gonna have real relationships with your clients. Like there is so many negative downstream effects to that type of messaging and language. Oh man. I’m like getting kind of worked up over here. You guys are listening to this. I’m like, man, Casey Casey’s passionate about this stuff, but can you imagine if I wasn’t, if I wasn’t passionate about this stuff, I, my business would not be as, as successful as it is.

I can tell you that much. I’m not even sure I would have a business. Um, okay. Next thing I have heard. I really don’t want you to be saying as a health and fitness coach is I can’t be motivated for you. This is ultimately dismissive and makes clients feel like they’re alone in their journey, like you have to want it.

More than I want it for you type of conversation. So while it’s true that motivation is personal, and we do want our clients to be motivated, and it’s also true, we can’t force our clients to be motivated. Your encouragement as a coach and the way that you coach, the way that you ask questions, the way that you show up for them, can make a huge difference in your client’s motivation.

So while you can’t directly motivate your clients, you can absolutely support. Motivation, you can guide them to more motivation. Most people, again, are already struggling with motivation. So if they’re lacking motivation, they’re lacking belief in themselves. And here you’re just agreeing with them that like it’s fully their responsibility to be motivated and you can’t do anything about it.

All you’re doing, again, is just showing your inability to help with that. In my perspective, the problem is the clients who are viewing this stuff and hearing this stuff from coaches, they don’t have that perspective. They’re not going, oh, wow, that’s not the coach for me, because I need to find a coach who’s gonna help me with my motivation.

They’re just gonna think to themselves, man, this is my own problem and nobody here can support me. Ugh, ugh. Literally kills me. Literally kills me. And we all wonder why. The coaching industry has seemed more difficult. It’s more difficult to get clients to commit and to, we’ve heard this a lot, like there’s a trust recession going on and people don’t trust people as as much anymore and are, are scared to hire coaches and all of this.

Like we wonder fricking why when this stuff is going around out there. Um. Inside the health mindset coaching certification. I’m like, I’m, I’m trying to explain to you what we teach because that also like just sheds a light, a, a psychological light on what I’m talking about. We talk about self-determination theory and inside the self-determination theory, there are basic psychological needs that are discussed, and that is autonomy, belongingness, and competence.

These are the ABCs, as I call them, and I actually have a full episode on this. And how you should be incorporating that into your coaching. So I’ll make sure that that is linked in the, in the show notes for you guys. Um, but when you are supporting your client’s autonomy, their belonging and their competence.

They are going to be more motivated and they’re also going to be striving to feel more autonomous, more competent, and like they belong. So you need to be focusing on those needs because they’re more motivated to meet those needs and when those needs are met, they are more motivated to do the things at hand.

So just a very clear example of how, as a coach. You can support autonomy or support motivation rather, but it doesn’t necessarily mean. That you are making them motivated. In fact, I don’t, I don’t like the term making clients do anything, so we’re making someone do something. We’re telling them what to do, we’re forcing them.

They’re pressured, they’re not gonna do it. It’s like the classic, tell the toddler, I mean. Does, can you tell I don’t have children? I was gonna say, tell the toddler to go clean their room. I don’t think toddlers are cleaning their room, but tell your child, you know, ages seven and up to go clean their room.

They’re not gonna wanna do it, but if there’s some way you can showcase them that having a cleaned room is like the way to be their best self, or that someone who is a role model to them always cleans their room and then they make the decision to clean their room on their, by their, by their selves without you.

Pressuring them to do it, they’re so much more likely to do it. There’s actually a term for this, it’s called psychological reactance. So same idea here. Like we shouldn’t be like telling our clients what to do all of the time, because that’s as much as they may ask for that, that’s not what’s best for behavior change and actual consistency with those behavior changes.

Okay. I feel like I’m talking extra fast on this podcast. I’m like, Casey, slow down. Okay, the next one. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make them drink. There is some truth to this, obviously. However, it implies that if clients don’t succeed on their own, it’s their fault, which is that not the opposite of which we’re supposed to be doing as coaches can make clients feel blamed.

Unsupported rather than encouraged and empowered to overcome challenges. So instead, client is experiencing, experiencing a challenge and coach says to them, well, you know, I’m doing everything that I can from my end, but you can lead a horse to water. You can’t make them drink. So I do need you to show up and like do your part again, some truth to that, ’cause obviously you can’t like meal prep for them, you can’t take them to the gym.

It’s just like wholly unhelpful when they’re going through a challenging circumstance, when they’re struggling with consistency. So what this analogy of lead a horse to water can’t make them drink implies helplessness on the coach’s side and really places blame on the client. So like, I can do everything over here, but like you’re on your own over there.

Um, there’s just like so many more helpful ways to go about this and. We should be seeking to empower and support our clients, not make them feel like they’re alone in the journey. So effective behavior change coaching is a collaborative process. So yeah, relationships are a two-way street. All of that, like, that’s the, the kernel of truth in, in this statement of you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make them drink.

But you could do a lot of other things you can. In, in going with the analogy, you can sweeten the water, you can guide them towards where the water is. You can show them how to drink the water. For those of you who are watching on YouTube, this is Winston. This is my brother’s cat. Yes, he has a mustache.

Now every single one of you who are listening to this audio only are gonna go, I need to see the mustache cat. You need to go to YouTube. Um, but he’s apparently joining me. I actually made a joke on my Instagram recently ’cause he was sitting in the podcast chair and I took a photo of it and was like, welcome to my new podcast, co-host Sir Winston.

And um. I guess I brought this on myself now he’s like, okay, hand over the mic lady. Um, anyway, sorry. Full distraction there. So yeah, we can’t, we can’t make our clients quote unquote drink the water. We can sweeten the water, we can direct them towards the water. We can fill a bucket of water and show them where the water came from so that they can then later go do it themselves.

Um, just sticking with this analogy, there’s a lot of ways you can still support your clients without. Doing everything for them because, no, that’s not the goal. But okay. The next one and the final one I have for you, motivation won’t last. You just need to be disciplined. Oh, don’t we love the discipline versus motivation conversation.

So what, saying like, motivation won’t last. You just need to be disciplined. The, the detriments here. That it really downplays how effective motivation and enjoyment can be. ’cause when we think about discipline, you don’t think about something that you enjoy. Right? And it makes it seem like discipline is the only key to exce success when the reality is.

Intrinsic motivation is the key to success and intrinsic motivation is, at its core, it’s, it’s doing something because you enjoy it because you get some personal reward out of it. It’s personally fulfilling to you. And motivation lies on a spectrum and there’s a lot of different types of motivation. But the best, if we’re gonna give one a, a best characteristic here, that is intrinsic motivation and.

We can help as coaches help our clients. Develop more intrinsic moti motivation. Find intrinsic motivation that they already have. So if we’re just saying you need to be disciplined all the time, but the reality is that client is probably just lacking intrinsic motivation. That’s what you should be focusing on, not just like do it all the time, even though you fucking hate all of it.

Like that’s, that’s like discipline. I’m half like David Goggins in my head now. Um. Which I do have a whole episode on David Goggins, which is actually one of our most popular episodes, which is not that surprising. I’ll make sure that that is linked as well in the show notes if you wanna tune into that next.

Um, so if we have discipline as a sole focus, yes. Discipline is important. Yes. There’s gonna be times where you don’t wanna go to the gym and you gotta do it anyway. When we say dis like motivation won’t last, and discipline is the most important thing. It minimizes the complexity that is human motivation and all the other aspects that I was just talking about.

Ignores factors like enjoyment and satisfaction and engagement in something when the reality is if we’re getting satisfaction from something, enjoyment, we are feeling engaged in it, we are actually really motivated to do it, and it doesn’t require discipline. So overall. When we’re saying like motivation doesn’t matter and discipline is like the sole focus, it actually undermines some of the most important things when it comes to actually staying consistent and sticking with things which, which is intrinsic motivation that that enjoyment factor, the engaging, the satisfaction that you get from things.

And if we’re just trying to come out with this message of like, you just need to do it regardless if you want to or not. We’re missing a huge, huge, huge, we’re actually missing the entire story when it comes to how do humans actually stay motivated and stick to things and keep going in the face of challenges.

So although discipline is important, and yes, sometimes you gotta suck it up and do it even when you don’t want to, that is such a small part of the conversation and absolutely not what you should be focusing on as a health and fitness coach. And again, very unfortunately, I have seen this from coaches where.

This conversation about like, motivation doesn’t matter and discipline is like the thing you need to focus on. It’s just, um, it’s lacking. It’s, it’s lacking a lot. So overall these statements can feel limiting. Unsupportive blameful, which is only going to serve. You in the way of pushing away so many clients.

But at the same time, I also don’t want you to be help trying to help those clients. If you’re not equipped to help those clients because it’s not good for either of you, then if you’re like, yeah, no problem, if you’re not motivated and ready, we’re gonna work on that together. And then you have zero tools and no strategy to actually help them do those things.

Like also, please don’t do that. Um, what you can do is get five free lessons in mindset and behavior change coaching. From me. Um, when you sign up for the wait list for the Health Mindset Coaching certification, you get five free lessons. As soon as you sign up. The wait list doesn’t commit you to anything, it just puts you on the list.

So you get updates on future enrollment for the certification, and in the meantime you get those five free lessons. So you can get started with some of the things that we were talking about on this podcast today. So there’s just like, there’s so much goodness that comes from mindset. Behavior change in psychology and knowing how to incorporate that in your coaching.

And not just from like a, working with clients in the moment perspective, but from like a marketing perspective and drawing more clients in. So there’s just, there’s so many people out there that are struggling with motivation and struggling with self-limiting beliefs and holding themselves back and self-sabotaging.

And if us as coaches are out here saying. That’s you. I don’t wanna work with you, or you need to be fully ready, or any of these things that we’ve talked about, like that’s, we’re just really doing a disservice to so many people and honestly a disservice to the, the industry as a whole, which is why I’m here talking to you about all of those things.

Alright. That’s a wrap. That’s all I have for you this time, and I will see you next week. And that’s a wrap for today’s episode of Not Another Mindset show. If you enjoyed today’s episode, don’t forget to hit that subscribe button so you get notified of the next one, because if you’re anything like me, if the episodes aren’t popping up for you automatically, you’ll keep forgetting to come back to the show even if you really, really enjoyed it.

So go ahead and hit that subscribe button and make it super easy for you. And of course. If you wanna see more episodes just like this one, I’d love for you to let me know by leaving a review. I know, I know it’s super annoying to do, but the few seconds that it takes means the world to me and also ensures that I can keep providing free education and value to you.

And just to sweeten the deal, I am going to be picking a random reviewer every single month to receive a free workshop or product from me if you’re looking for more free resources. Or just wanna connect, hang out, chat a little bit. Come find me on Instagram. I’m Coach Kasey, Jo over there. That is where I hang out the most in the land of social media.

Alright, my friends, that is all I have for you this time. I so appreciate you being here and love to see you prioritizing your growth. I’ll see you next time.