What is it about who you are currently that is not that type of person? Is it that you lack confidence, you lack skills, motivation, self-control? What is, what is it that is required to be successful that that type of person has that you don’t? Hello, my friends and welcome back to not another mindset show.

I’m your host, Dr. Kasey Jo. My goal with this. Podcast is to take the science of mindset and behavior change and distill it down into actionable takeaways for you. Together we’re gonna unpack research around motivations, self-sabotage, willpower, and so much more, and we’re going to take all of that and translate it into strategies you can immediately apply.

To your health, fitness, relationships, business, marketing clients, all of the things. But just to be clear, it’s not all serious and sciencey around here. We’re gonna have a ton of fun too, and I’m so excited to share all of this with you. All right, let’s go ahead and get into the episode. Hello. Hello my friends, and welcome back to not another mindset show.

Today I wanna do a little. Kind of informal chit chat about something because I have been hit in the face with this topic many times in the last few months, honestly, starting with the Growth Collective Retreat, the Growth Collective, if you don’t know what that is, is a one-on-one business mentorship container that I have.

It’s the only way to work with me one-on-one these days, and we have retreats two times per year. And at the last retreat, actually, I talked about this in episode 67, the three things you need to rethink in your business, because this was something that was continuously coming up at the retreat and amongst other things that I shared in that episode and about how there’s this belief.

That so many of us hold your clients hold this too, that you need to fundamentally change who you are in order to succeed. And then also came up again recently when me and my team were preparing Mindset Monday emails to go out to my email club. If you’re not part of the Mindset Monday email club, you definitely should be.

I try my darnedest to get. Every single Monday. We’ve been doing this for three or four years now. I’m not even sure we’ve really missed a Monday. Maybe only a few, but they are short and sweet emails that give you research takeaways, thought exercises, or a quote, and then I kind of expand upon that. Again, not super lengthy, just something quick for you to.

Get into at the start of every week. So one of the quotes that my team pulled was actually from Oprah, and it said, we can’t become what we need by remaining what we are. And I really kind of was thinking about this. Welcome to a, the day in life of, of me just really thinking about Oprah’s words here and.

Again, it’s the same idea. Do we really need to change who we are in order to get what we need or be more successful? And then also, most recently, which honestly was kind of like the straw that broke the camel’s back for this podcast episode. Was talking to my Health Mindset coaching certification students in our Level one program about clients who think they need to be a different type of person, if they wanna be successful.

So all of this said, it really just begs the question, do you have to change who you are in order to be successful, whether that is in your health and fitness goals, your business. To get into a lasting, long-term, amazing romantic relationship. If you’re currently feeling like you don’t have what it takes or you don’t have that level of success that you’re seeking, but other people do, it can start to make you think that you’re just not that type of person yet.

And there’s this narrative that circulates constantly about how you need to change who you are in order to become. Someone else, but do you really need, do you really need to become someone else? Is is what I’m getting at here? Because if you think that’s true, what is it about who you are now that’s holding you back If you believe that a different type of person is who can be successful in any given area?

Again, this could be business, health and fitness, relationships. I mean, you name it. What is it about who you are currently? That is not that type of person is it that you lack confidence, you lack skills, motivation, self-control. What is, what is it that is required to be successful that that type of person has that you don’t?

Because all of those things, confidence, motivation, self-control. They can feel like they’re part of you. Part of who you are, but really, can they not be changed just by gaining some new skills, learning some new things, getting support from others who have been successful in that area, or, I don’t know, maybe just taking some fricking action.

Can your confidence, motivation, self-control, whatever trait you feel like that you currently possess? That is not supporting the success that you’re looking for, that is not similar to the type of person that you have to be. Can those things not be, let’s say, fixed by just gaining some new skill, learning some new things, hiring a mentor, taking some action.

So is it really that you need to change who you are or can you still be you, but. Maybe with just some new bells and whistles added to it, added to yourself, because really it can feel like such a daunting task to have to change who you are, but perhaps it’s less daunting if you reframe it and see it from this lens that you don’t need to change who you are.

You just need to add some new skills and resources and practice and time and action to who you are. I actually, I do have an an example too, I think. I think I’ve mentioned this on the podcast before, but I was on a seven figure business owner panel at an event last year, and someone in the audience asked me.

About the type of person that I was before I scaled my business and who I am now and what those differences are there. She, she worded it differently, but that was essentially like the gist. And I had a really hard time answering this question as you can just like picture me on stage in front of like a thousand people just like fumbling with my words because, because I don’t think I’m a different person who I was.

Before I built my business, who I was, but when I was making $400,000 a year in the business and who I am now doing over seven figures for the last four years in a row, I don’t think I am a different Kasey. I’m still Kasey. I’m just Kasey. With more practice, hundreds of thousands of dollars invested into mentorship and education.

A lot of trial and error support systems. Tons and tons of new skills and strategies that I can apply. So it just makes me wonder, and this was kind of like the. Decision to make this episode and talk to you about it. It makes me wonder how many people are simply not seeing more success because they hold this belief that they need to change who they are, and that feels next to impossible.

How many of your clients are struggling to stick to the plan and stick with these healthy behaviors even though they say they wanna be. Living a healthier lifestyle. They wanna lose weight, they wanna do all the things, but they’re struggling because they think they ultimately need to be a different type of person.

Sounds like some fixed mindset drama might be going on if that’s the case. So you can think about this and definitely steal this and use it with your clients too. Who is that ideal type of person then the one that you feel like you need to be in order to see the level of success that you want to see?

Are they a hundred percent perfect? A hundred percent of the time? They have no setbacks. They don’t make mistakes. No bad days, no bad weeks. No, no. Goals not hit. Is the person that you think you need to become even actually possible at all? Because in my eyes, you’re seeking a like perfectionist standard and.

You might be striving for something that’s impossible, so of course you will feel like you never measure up. Of course, you’re gonna feel like you’re never good enough and you’re never going to get there because it’s actually not possible to be a hundred percent perfect a hundred percent of the time in all in those areas, right?

And you might be listening to this, like, no, I don’t think that the ideal person has to be perfect, Kasey, obviously, but, but do you, but do you, have you really taken some time to think about this? Have your clients really taken some time to think about this? Like I would urge you to sit down and map out what that ideal person actually is then, and notice if you’re leaning towards some more perfectionistic tendencies and beliefs about that ideal person.

And also when you do that, you might start to realize that a lot of things that that specific person who is successful, a lot of things that they do are things that you’re already doing. And instead of thinking about the things you could and should be doing and that perfect ideal person that you need to be but aren’t.

What are the things that that type of person does that you’re already doing? Because I bet you’re doing a lot of those things already and Sure. Then you can also look at your list of things and think to yourself, okay, well what of these things can I be doing more of? Can I be adding in? Can I be adjusting?

What will actually move the needle forward based on this list of traits, qualities, actions. And not just check the box and make you feel like you did something when you didn’t. ’cause we all fall prey to that too. So it’s ultimately, at least, this is my perspective, right? This is more of, like I said, a conversational chitchat type of episode.

It’s not so much about who you are as a person. You, you listening, watching right now. I don’t believe you need to be a different person. I think you are a fucking fabulous as you are. It’s what you’re doing that matters. It’s what bells and whistles you can add to who you are right now, and of course likely requires you to break free of some of this mindset, drama that.

You believe that you need to change who you are in order to be successful, because that’s such, again, such a daunting task, especially if that type of person is someone who is perfect all of the time. So I would really love to hear your thoughts on. My thoughts because I don’t think that this is something that’s talked about really ever.

You hear talks about like who is the ideal person, who is the best version of you and all of this stuff, but never the idea that maybe you’re holding on so tightly to being a different type of person, that that’s what’s actually holding you back. And perhaps it’s a lot easier than that. Perhaps you can be who you are and you just need to hire a mentor and learn some new skills and put in some time and effort and action.

And before you know it, you will be that type of person without actually having to change who you are. Maybe, I don’t know. I don’t know. What do I know? Just some, just some thoughts, some things to noodle on. Okay. That is all I have for you this week, my friends and I will see you next time. And that’s a wrap for today’s episode of Not Another Mindset show.

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I’ll see you next time.